Why Is Gay Cruising Just Like Peacock Mating!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

First of all, I must say that I am a gay man over thirty five years of age, which makes me clinically dead in the gay world. Therefore, being this old and bitter fairy, I have all the right to talk how ridiculous and extremely annoying all the gay cruising Canada has to offer has become. Sour grapes have always been my second favorite fruit (right after the forbidden fruit, which I always keep in a nice bowl on my dinner table). Hence, growing older and getting more and more tired of the dating scene makes me wanna at least write a bitter and sarcastic blog about all those hot and sexy kids who still have the nerves to cruise all night long.
Besides being a gay man, I am also a biologist. If you are straight, this may come as a surprise that gay people also have jobs and professions that do not involve fashion and, well…fashion. Therefore, I happened to spot remarkable similarities between the gay cruising and the peacock mating. Once a peacock feels the ‘urge’ to mate, the first thing that he does is flashing around his enormous, fancy, feathers for his future mate to see. Also, they puff out their chest and they get really loud. If the mate of a peacock is interested, he will let his mate know that by more loud sounds and allow him to mount him form behind. Their mating involves a lot of screeching and feather flapping. And no, they don’t have only one mate for a lifetime, they practice polygamy.
You may wonder how does that compare to gay cruising. Well, let me describe that ritual and you can compare for yourself. First of all, when a gay man feels the urge to mate, he puts on the most expensive designer clothes that he owns, flashing around the brand names and amazingly expensive accessories. When he spots the possible mate, he will ‘puff out’ his abs and pecks, and he will get really loud blabbering all the time. If the other gay peaco…man finds that whole routine irresistible, he allows his mate to approach him and mount him from behind. Their mating mostly involves a lot of screeching and feather flapping. It depends on the gay cruising spots, actually. The whole thing can even happen online if you choose to do it on some gay cruising website.
However, it all comes down to the same thing. Lots of flashing, boasting and blabbering, involving glorious outfits and colorful trains…perhaps even a tiara or two…and mounting from behind. The similarities of mating rituals between these two species are so great that they simply cannot be ignored, so being a bitter old sarcastic fairy and a biologist at the same time, this comparative analysis leaves me no choice but to conclude – if a man descended from the ape, the gay man descended from a peacock. Including bitter old sarcastic fairies.

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