How Gay Cruising Website Emptied The Streets of Canada

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Once upon a time, there was this really big country named Canada, and it had a lot of lovely, cheerful and gay people in it’s streets. They were walking, talking, flirting and chatting all day long, making friends, setting up dates and beginning all kinds of relationships. Everyone was happy and a bit careful (you know, the AIDS stuff, always use a condom!) and each day was sunny and the trees were covered with chirping birds and all that.

And then one day the big bad Internet came to Canada! This dark lord had a vicious plan to get gay people off the streets and put them away in their homes never to go out cruising again! Suddenly, gay cruising Canada was so famous and proud of disappeared and were left empty. You may wonder how the big bad Internet managed to do that.
The simplicity of the plan is what is so prodigious about it. It made virtual gay cruising sites and made gays go there instead of going out and meeting in person. “No!”, you say, “It’s impossible! Gay people are strong and proud and they are not afraid of face-to-face contact!” But you are wrong! It is possible, and it is happening as we speak!
The weakest were the first to become the slaves to the Dark Lord and become the members of his Blue Site. The Blue Site knew all about it’s members. It stored their pictures, it measured them up from head to toes and displayed their measures for everyone to see. It cataloged once proud and adventurous gay people of Canada like they were animals in a cage. Soon enough, there was not a single gay man who wasn’t a member of the endless army of The Blue Site.

They only way those poor enslaved gays communicated was through The Blue Site. And they were all looking for a Hero! The Hero who would find them and rescue them from the never ending agony of online gay cruising that took the soul out of the cruising altogether! Everybody was searching for the Hero and the legend started to emerge. The hero is tall, intelligent and single.

He is gay, but you could never tell that because we is totally straight looking (or at least the legend says so). He is incredibly well hung and handsome but he is not in the gym all day long. He is rich but he doesn’t work all the time. He knows his art but he is not boring. However, nobody has ever seen him. The legend says that he still walks the streets of Canada fighting the Blue Site army. But nobody can tell for sure…because nobody is outside. Not even you. Here is a suggestion. Why don’t you forget about this story, go out right now and try to find that Hero of yours tonight?

Gay Cruising – Now and Then!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Ok, so I am a 25 year old gay male that lives in Canada. Why would you care? Because if you are about my age or younger you will find what I have to say quite interesting. Do you ever go on a gay cruising sites to find a hot guy for some hot fun? We have all been there…well, most of us. But lets stop and think for a minute what it was like before there were any websites to begin with.
We have it easy, just a click here and there and wham! – you got a sex date ready to meet with you. But lets step back in time and imagine what it would be like for us to actually go gay cruising, outside, in the cold…not so fun anymore huh?
Apparently, people used to cruise in parks or certain streets back in the days. You’d simply go and wander aimlessly in the park, but in actuality carefully watching to see if anyone is eyeing you – that was the signal.

Then you’d walk to a secluded place and see if anyone is following you – if they are, it means that the other side is interested and that you’re likely to have sex. But the huge disadvantage was that you could never certainly know who’s really gay – you might come along a bully, hooligan or someone else who’s homophobic, and there’s always a risk in taking the first step. Plus, your choice was very limited – only to people who were cruising at the same time as you were; you never knew when the opportunity will present itself – so a lot of time had to be spent there.

Some forms of cruising involved hanging out at public urinals and toilets, waiting to see if someone will show interest and give you a quick blow-job in the cabin – again, majority of people (straight and gay alike) don’t like if someone is watching them while doing their private stuff in the toilet, so it wasn’t exactly a summer ride in the countryside.
All of that changed when the Internet appeared. Suddenly, the number of potential partners skyrocketed, websites dedicated to gay online dating multiplied like rabbits and the whole anonymity thing became much easier – not to mention the whole dating process, in which you can find a guy without freezing in the park for 5 hours waiting for someone to come along. So next time you start whining about not being able to find a sex date or a boyfriend just remember that you do not have to do it like it was done before.
Gay cruising Canada is not as bad as you might think, at least I found that whenever I feel a need to cruise online, I usually get what I am looking for. It can always get better, but for now, I am satisfied with what we have going on in this great gay country of ours!

Why Is Gay Cruising Just Like Peacock Mating!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

First of all, I must say that I am a gay man over thirty five years of age, which makes me clinically dead in the gay world. Therefore, being this old and bitter fairy, I have all the right to talk how ridiculous and extremely annoying all the gay cruising Canada has to offer has become. Sour grapes have always been my second favorite fruit (right after the forbidden fruit, which I always keep in a nice bowl on my dinner table). Hence, growing older and getting more and more tired of the dating scene makes me wanna at least write a bitter and sarcastic blog about all those hot and sexy kids who still have the nerves to cruise all night long.
Besides being a gay man, I am also a biologist. If you are straight, this may come as a surprise that gay people also have jobs and professions that do not involve fashion and, well…fashion. Therefore, I happened to spot remarkable similarities between the gay cruising and the peacock mating. Once a peacock feels the ‘urge’ to mate, the first thing that he does is flashing around his enormous, fancy, feathers for his future mate to see. Also, they puff out their chest and they get really loud. If the mate of a peacock is interested, he will let his mate know that by more loud sounds and allow him to mount him form behind. Their mating involves a lot of screeching and feather flapping. And no, they don’t have only one mate for a lifetime, they practice polygamy.
You may wonder how does that compare to gay cruising. Well, let me describe that ritual and you can compare for yourself. First of all, when a gay man feels the urge to mate, he puts on the most expensive designer clothes that he owns, flashing around the brand names and amazingly expensive accessories. When he spots the possible mate, he will ‘puff out’ his abs and pecks, and he will get really loud blabbering all the time. If the other gay peaco…man finds that whole routine irresistible, he allows his mate to approach him and mount him from behind. Their mating mostly involves a lot of screeching and feather flapping. It depends on the gay cruising spots, actually. The whole thing can even happen online if you choose to do it on some gay cruising website.
However, it all comes down to the same thing. Lots of flashing, boasting and blabbering, involving glorious outfits and colorful trains…perhaps even a tiara or two…and mounting from behind. The similarities of mating rituals between these two species are so great that they simply cannot be ignored, so being a bitter old sarcastic fairy and a biologist at the same time, this comparative analysis leaves me no choice but to conclude – if a man descended from the ape, the gay man descended from a peacock. Including bitter old sarcastic fairies.

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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

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